Blocked, stuck, miserable, decaffeinated
I'm stuck, stuck, stuck. I just don't seem able to start writing. I'm still working on chapter 5 weeks after I last posted about it. I've been feeling more closed up each day, more unable to think of anything to write, and more self-critical. Perhaps it is 'real' life intruding: work has been stressful to the extent I've arrived home each night and just wanted to curl up in bed, escape in a book and then blank my worries with sleep.
At times like this I feel as if I have a nagging, critical monster on my shoulder, whispering in my ear all day: 'Do you really think you can write? You may have written a story for the TMA that a few people seemed to like but now you've got to write lots more words, and you realise that you can only really write in the first person, don't you?'
Today I'm standing up to it and having a go, but I'm struggling because every attempt feels banal. I know the theory is that you write even if it's rough and unpromising, because there will be gold in the muck. Right now I just feel over my wellies in muck.
I'm trying to do activity 5.2 at the moment. The task is to take a stereotypical character (like an old fashioned elderly person) and write a description of them that makes you realise they are more complex. I'm going to try a freewrite to try and get started, after another cup of tea...
At times like this I feel as if I have a nagging, critical monster on my shoulder, whispering in my ear all day: 'Do you really think you can write? You may have written a story for the TMA that a few people seemed to like but now you've got to write lots more words, and you realise that you can only really write in the first person, don't you?'
Today I'm standing up to it and having a go, but I'm struggling because every attempt feels banal. I know the theory is that you write even if it's rough and unpromising, because there will be gold in the muck. Right now I just feel over my wellies in muck.
I'm trying to do activity 5.2 at the moment. The task is to take a stereotypical character (like an old fashioned elderly person) and write a description of them that makes you realise they are more complex. I'm going to try a freewrite to try and get started, after another cup of tea...
posted by Liz at 9:30 AM
4 Comments:
If it is any help at all, Liz - I haven't come across anybody who has liked Chapter 5, or found it inspiring.
Nether Autherton seems to be helping some of us.
It's no help at all that my TMA isn;t back. I feel as though I am "on hold" - sucking my breath in until I get some kind of viw as to whether I can do this thing or not. Checking my mail box every 5 minutes in the hope/dread that *that* email will be there.
It is a help! Thank you. Perhaps I should just move on and try Chapter Six. I can always try and use some of the advice about creating characters from Chapter 5. What is Nether Autherton?
My TMA isn't back yet, either, and I keep checking too!
I think one of the things that's blocking me is just thinking I'll be very bad at writing in the third person and using dialogue, so I should just try. It's easier said than done though, isn't it.
Thanks for the support!
Liz
Hi I found your site by typing in A215 absentmindedly onto the wrong area of my computer - as if the results are hiding in there somewhere....I'm also waiting for my TMA to come back - it hasn't. By 11am I'd begun to wonder whether the postman has decided to put my mail through the box just once a week or so......just re-read a promotion for the OU which stated that A215 is suitable for people new to writing.... I was beginning to think I had imagined that because everyone else seems to know exactly what they are doing and I'm just muddling through.
Hi Moray - good to hear from another A215er. Don't worry that everyone else knows what they're doing - we're all finding our feet one way or another! A215 is my first real try at writing.
Waiting for the TMA is frustrating isn't it - I think I'm going to the eTMA site every couple of hours to check!
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